As many others in my generation, my relationship with my own society evolved in -grossly- three phases:

I first tried to understand the world I was living in; a fascinating, rich and exciting world, yet full of contradictions, ambiguities and dark spaces that you’re not allowed to probe. Then the excitement grows bigger as years go by, when by virtue of work, social position and concern for the future, one considers that he/she has got a stake in his/her own society. You start asking questions and you’re faced with absurd answers. You’re politely asked to shut your mouth up, and reminded that you live in a land -virtually- owned by the ruler, his family and surroundings. You’re told that there are many things sacred that you’re not allowed to question even when you deem them silly, ridiculous, unjust or potentially dangerous.

Then comes the second phase when out of accumulated knowledge and personal experience you make your own opinion and you’re overwhelmed by that desire to act; to get involved in a way or another. You join a group of like-minded friends only to discover a world of self professed activism, full of intrigues and sometimes as corrupt and false as the society you’re humbly trying to influence.

And then, inexorably comes a third phase: a moment of apathy and detachment. You’re gradually invaded by a sense of indifference and numbness to all things political but not without a taste of guilt that accompanies you throughout. And when you’re, by chance, provided the opportunity to go abroad, you don’t think twice… you decide to get the hell out of here. ’cause you’re not a hero after all; never wanted to be a hero; your concerns stem from a seemingly altruistic interest but basically your fundamental motives are selfish: you want to live respectful of others, but free to unleash your creative energy, free to act, invent, create; free to question everything to challenge anything that seems at odds with your own egocentric interests.

But the sense of guilt never leaves you, it grows even greater as you comfortably assimilate yourself into your new environment. You find yourself trapped into a routinely standardized life; endlessly repeating identical cycles. Because homesickness and the memory of a tougher and arduous past keeps obsessively haunting you, you feel the burning need to do something meaningful. You’re then helplessly trying to find interesting people who you might emulate and share opinions with, platforms where you could express your mind. Internet gave me, as I believe many of my blogging peers, the opportunity to do just that.

Gradually a community of thought takes shape and your scope gets bigger and bigger. You finally have found the breathing space you were craving for and a community of people with whom you might agree or disagree; a commonwealth of free speakers.