Here’s what I imagined…that family’s prayed together at each and every call to prayer; that people greeted each other with As Salam Alaikum on the street, so much so that I would have trouble keeping up with the number of people we passed; that people would be more willing to help each other; and that the level of respect youth had for elders was eons beyond American kids.  I imagined that no one drank, no one tried to cheat another, and I imagined that the the stares and comments American women complain about where figments of their imagination.

Here’s what I found…teenage girls wearing the tightest revealing clothes while walking next to their fully covered mothers in veils and djellabas; dirty streets where people litter forgetting that Allah gave them this Earth to live on and care for; people having to fend for their lives to cross the street as cars speed toward them not even bothering to slow down; and so many people drinking that they have to dry-out for 40 days before Ramadan.  And, the one thing I have witnessed that bothers me the most is the lack of respect that teenagers (mostly boys) show anyone.  The boys in our neighborhood cause a lot of the fights that I write about, they taunt a mentally impaired man when he comes around, and they disturb the neighborhood all hours of the night not having a care for working people, sleeping people, or fasting people.   For instance, last night until 2:30 a.m., a group of 6 teenage boys were hanging out in front of the door next to our apartment door playing inappropriate music, singing, laughing loudly, shouting in unison and having loud conversations.  They had no regard for anyone trying to sleep because not only did that have to get up for work the next morning, but they had to fast while doing so.  As it was, we all had to get up  in less than two hours for suhoor.  When I went to complain to my husband and brother-in-law, they said telling them to go away or even be quiet would just make them get louder.  “They are just 14 and 15 and that’s Morocco”,  they told me.  Eventually, my brother-in-law stuck his head out the window and told them to quiet down a little bit, and shortly after they actually left.

The thing is, I can’t fully blame them.  It appears that parenting is optional after birth in Morocco, and giving birth is almost like a hobby.  People have a lot of children, almost beyond the means of how many they can care for, and then send them into the streets so they don’t have to deal with them.  I would have thought that Muslim mothers would encourage their daughters to guard their modesty and dress in a way that allows them to experience Western fashion without being half naked in the streets (it’s possible, I’ve seen it, I do it myself).  I would have thought that children and teens would be expected to be in the house at a certain (decent) hour of the night, and that when they weren’t someone other than me would be complaining in the neighborhood.  I would have thought that parents call their children in the house when the adhan fills the air, or dare I go futher and say that they would head home automatically for prayer? 

Needless to say, I’m dissapointed.  While I have witnessed and heard of several examples of true Muslim behavior in Morocco, it’s just not at all what I imagined.  On one Friday, as we were walking in the souk, I saw a woman by a kilo of figs.  She walked along the souk and gave a small handful to every single beggar she passed.   In the mosque one day, my husband found a man in a wheelchair calling him over to use his prayer rug since he couldn’t use it.  My husband said the man insisted on it and kept snapping his fingers and pointing to the rug until my husband finally agreed to use it.  My mother-in-law never misses one of the five daily prayers and prays for every one of her children to be happy and successful no matter what that may be.  And, I’ve also seen some men so devoted to praying at the exact right moment that they stop in the middle of the street and pray on the sidewalk.  The mosques are always full at prayer times.  But, these sights are so few and far between it’s no wonder that we’ve also heard of Muslim convert women coming to Morocco and leaving no longer wearing their veils or sadly, no longer believing in Islam. 

You might wonder if these things deter me from Islam, but even though I have not found what I hoped I would here, the core of Islam is one’s relationship with Allah.  It’s not about what others are doing, or not doing.  Yes, it’s harder to stay on the straight path when there are temptations in a place where you thought temptation wouldn’t exist so much.  It’s harder to stay calm and peaceful while fasting when the boys on the street think it’s okay to play ”Back That Thing Up” or when the lady across the street comes barrelling out the door screaming at two elderly women walking down the street (that happened yesterday).   Perhaps some women come here and say, why should I wear my veil if half the women here aren’t wearing one?  You have to remind yourself that Islam is not about what other people do, but what you choose to do or not do.  These things will be recorded in your book, not theirs.  On the Day of Judgement, you will not be able to say, “But Allah, when I was in Morocco, everyone else was doing it that way”. 

So, it seems appropriate to answer a few questions that have been posted.  The first is a question from my aunt who asked it to me many month ago, but I feel it’s relevant to today’s post.

Is it easier to be a Muslim woman in Morocco than in the States? Yes, in some ways. Obviously veiled woman are very prevalent here so I don’t feel like I’m the only one as I often am.  Shopping for clothes is easier here because they are more modest by design as being long enough in all the right areas. I plan to stock up on some things before going back to the United States.

Of course, there is just the general sense of Islam in the country, but I do get frustrated sometimes when other Muslims are not nice to us or to others. I think I expected it would be different because of Islam. But, it seems people can be and are the same everywhere. I do like that it’s a Muslim country, yet does not use Islam wrongfully as a basis for opressing women. By that I mean, women are not forced to wear veils and djellebas, they are allowed to work and drive and all the other things that we are of course allowed, in Islam, to do!

Giving and helping the homeless and disabled people  is so much more prevalent here that it makes me want to be a better person and Muslim too, so I really like that influence on me.

One important thing to note is that here, you can stop working whenever its time for prayer. You can go find a quiet place within your work setting and pray without asking permission or taking break time to do so. I can think of many examples of jobs in the United States when this would be impossible.  Even though my previous job was flexible, it’s not like I could have stepped out of the middle of a meeting to pray. Additionally, you are surrounded by mosques almost where ever you go, so the adhan is always heard reminding you its time for prayer.  In the United States, you are left to your own devices for remembering when to pray…though that is easily solved with clocks built for that and computer programs which will pop up as long as the computer is on.

The next question is from one of my faithful readers…

I’ve also heard that the young men argue outside more during Ramadan during the daytime, and that most of it is kind of like showing off or something. Have you seen this and if so is it disturbing for them to do that? In addition to what I’ve already written in this post, last year we witnessed a fight in the middle of traffic between two men.  Yesterday, I was shocked to see the woman across the street following and screaming at two elderly women during the day.  It is certainly disturbing to see fights during Ramadan (as well as other times of the year), and it’s usually over very trivial matters.  It kind of throws you off, but at the same time everyone’s emotions are elevated due to the hunger.  You have to keep it in check!  It’s unfortunate for those people as well because fighting in Ramadan will surely cause their fasting to be invalid as would smoking, gambling, not praying, etc,

*Throughout this post, I use the word veil to indicate covering the hair, and wearing the appropriate accompanying clothes which would cover the rest of the body to the wrist and ankle.  The face and hands appear.
 

^{_{August 24, 2009}} 

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